At 30...

This is something I wrote that I have forgotten to post... may we always find inspiration in everything and everyone around us.

At 30...

Yes, i have turned 30 today, the 3rd of March 2009. A big change has come to my life, since I got married 3 years ago and gave birth to our little love a year ago... I thought the new chapter in my life began there. But somehow it ended there and started anew just a month ago... and a month ago it seems that my world is falling apart. Everything is dark around me and I literally cannot think straight.

I have fear, a deep sorrow in my heart. I scream alot for peace in my mind... and began to grope for air... I realised how precious breathing is and then began to find my faith again. I cannot regret anything behind me that has led me to this day. I cannot let the past haunt me forever though... I must let it go, let it all go.

the 30th year in my life, I learned to count my blessings... the kisses I receive, the sunshine, the dimpled angel beside me... and the calloused hands that hold me. I am wholeheartedly thankful for this day. This evening just before the simple dinner party with my family, I asked myself... will I be given another 30 years? Or 30 more days? But I know the answer is beyond me, I just have faith that no matter how many dark chapters come, I know there will be hundreds and hundreds of pages written of hope for me, for this soul.

I know i will be continued to be blessed in this life, may I be a blessing to everyone too.
I am thankful for all the loves in my life.
I am thankful for you.
and I am thankful I had the chance to turn 30.

JacelynDarelam 03March2009